Right… Im sure that those of you who know me already understand that this aint gonna be one of them dumb ass things where I worry about the dolphins or worry about those plastic things off a 4 pack of beer getting stuck to a birds neck. Nor do I worry about climate change or stem cell harvesting and the likes. I worry about the things that make REAL people worry and not the things that make people who write articles in the media worry. I am Mr. Down to Earth, Mr. Nitty fucking gritty, Mr. What the fuck is happening here! So anyhoo.. as I ponder long and ponder hard, I worry more. This is a long established and long discussed worry, but a worry that needed help. An outside view and opinion. Something that I rarely ask for, but even perhaps, a little tuition in. So………. the story goes……”When does sex with a mentally crippled vegetable become rape?” Now, I know that the first though is gonna be ‘Scouse man, you’ve just crossed the fucking line dude’.. but seriously.. Hear me out! So I’ve been married almost 6 year now and I remember taking the vows ”for better for worse, in sickness and in health” so, I got thinking, right…. Touch wood (**touches semi erect penis**) what would happen if my lovely wife was in a horrible accident? She ends up in a bit of a bad way and shes one of these people who spend the rest of their life drinking thru a straw and then spending the next 6 hours dribbling it back out their mouths and on themselves… Call me horrible, I dont care. We live in the real world and these things are real life scenarios. So anyhoo, she’s in a metal frame for the rest of her days and “In sickness and in health” I change her clothes when she shats herself, wipe the half digested food from her chin, clean the sticky lollypop juice from her hair, but as I’m lifting her broken ass outta the chair and emptying her bag I see beaver….A womans beaver is still a womans beaver, no matter how mangled the legs. Look at Paul McCartney.. he fucked a weeble! So where is the limit man? You and I both know that if I ask for an answer from her, ‘a consenting adult’ all Im gonna get is a bunch of flapping arms and some fucking drool man. So how does ‘In sickness and in health’ apply? For her.. or for me?!? Its not like shes gonna say no to my advances…. but to be fair.. she aint gonna say ‘Yes, Take me you horrible, dirty, ginger bastard’ So am I meant to do without for the rest of my days or is she meant to put out when I want it?? Either way, its a lose lose situation for her, but a win win one for me. She’ll never get it when she wants it and she’ll will get it when she dont… whereas I’ll get it when I want it, how I want it and where I want it… and I’m fucked if I never want it. This may seem like another of my off the wall, way out there fucking rants… but seriously. Think about it. Its a definate possibility and before she’s a spakka, I wanna know my gounds man. I dont wannt be a rapist in my wifes thoughts, but I’m fucked if I dont get laid cause she forgot the green cross fucking code!!!
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